Grizedale professionalism

So one of my favorite parts of the day is opening up my email inbox and finding messages from the Grizedale College reps. Usually they are reminders of rules that people are breaking which is followed by threats, or invitations to events I would never attend, or as they are most of the time--wholly inapplicable to me. The usual stuff. However on the rare--and by rare I mean not rare at all...and by not rare at all I mean with disconcerting abundance--occasion, I will find the most informal and downright cringe-worthy messages I could fathom being sent out on a list-serve. I have an included an example of such a message below:

[Subject: New Porter in Grizedale. To make your life easier we have picked another man called Dave

Message: 

       Make sure you introduce yourselves to him.  

 Say” Hi Dave, Welcome to Grizedale” and shake his hand.  Tell him your name and smile nicely.  He is shy so draw him out of himself please. 

Dave is on duty today and is learning the job from Bob.  Dave will be here Monday Tues. Wed Thurs this week then on nights Friday Sat Sun Mon.

Make a point of bringing him into the Grizedale fold.

Competition

Take a good look at him when you do this and decide on his age.  The first person to get his age right will get a bottle of Wine.

Send me your guesses.  Don’t ask him.  No cheating.  He doesn’t know I am doing this so its just between you and me.  Ok?

B

Barbara Glass

Administrator

Grizedale College]

Hmmm...first of all, why is Dave making my life easier? I personally hadn't discerned the former porter's lack of helpfulness/interest in my problem from EVERYONE ELSE'S RUDE AND DISMISSIVE DEMEANOR HERE. Secondly, is it just me, or is it counterproductive to try and make someone feel welcome by asking people to stare at and scrutinize his features for an uncomfortably long amount of time? Thirdly, I'm glad you are already pointing out his insecurities and shyness, I'm sure a parade of introductions will cure him of that. Fourth and finally, THANK YOU for telling me to be nice and smile, because that's not normally what I do when I introduce myself...oh wait, I'm in posh 'I care about my image' but yet 'I still won't make any effort to be pleasant' England...they do need to hear that. 

Huh, I hadn't had a good rant for a while. I didn't even include the email calling the whole college to be on the lookout for an administrators lost earring, or the one about needing to call home because all our mothers are worried about us...I can't call home woman!! I filed that one in the 'unapplicable' category. Sigh.